Category: Uncategorized

Last night my toddler and I sat in my bed, cuddling under the covers and reading childhood classics I had read many times as a kid. It was beautiful, until the ending of one particular story. This practice is common in many cultures – the passing of classical stories or myths between generations. As a modern day parent, I think we should always apply judgment and critical thinking when we tell stories to the next generation. Some people argue that we shouldn’t judge works of the past by today’s moral standards, others disagree.

The classic I will be referring to here was written in 1993 – almost three decades ago. One would argue that our current moral standards still apply, while other social ideas of today may have been unheard of or considered overly progressive at that time, in the Israeli culture. When we re-tell past stories, it is therefore important we consider and acknowledge the tradition and historical context they were created. I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t read classics or engage with classic art, but only that we execute our own judgement and explain to the next generation how old ideas can, and often should, change (like – women’s right to vote or accessibility being the law). This is especially important when we tell stories to children who are learning about the world and themselves. Here I will exemplify how you can do that – by critically thinking of stories and dissecting what messages may be hidden inside.

The Israeli culture, like many others, highly values its classic children’s books, which are still sold and read widely. One of these that we read last night was The Elephant Who Wanted To Be The Most. Alongside its apparent aim at taming vanity, it sends messages of idealisation conformity and sameness, as well as condemnation of individuality or breaking of expected social roles. 

The plot goes like this: a young elephant is sad about being grey like all the other elephants in his flock. With the world being so colourful, he feels low at being given the “old boring grey” to live in

A bird nearby sees his sour face and tries to convince him the colour suits him, but then helps gather colours from nature, helping the little elephant become the colourful self he is dreaming of. A little mirror appears on the page of my child’s board book to show the young elephant finally happy in his colourful, gay skin. His joy isn’t rooted in vanity, but in self pride and celebration of who he wants to be: “Look how pretty I am/ The colorful little elephant.”

When our little protagonist returns to his flock, the older elephants mock him so terribly that he regrets the decision, wanting to avoid shaming and asks to return to grey. The others spray him with water, ending the story with a repetition of the mantra “Grey is a good colour, perfectly suitable for elephants”.

Last night this ending suddenly saddened me, as it stood out as punitive and policing – discouraging the elephant, and anyone identifying with him, to express themselves. Although there is a mention of the elephant wanting to be the most beautiful, and critiques argue vanity is the main target of the author’s criticism, other reasons for self-expression and breaking social norms and expectations are also wiped along the way. The elephant is so beautifully colourful and happy after the bird paints him with her feather. The reasons for wanting to get rid of the colours are not because he changed his mind or deeply connected with self-love to his original color, but simply because he didn’t want to be mocked: others said the colours only suit “the circus” (i.e. this isn’t how you’re meant to look) and so he responded with “I don’t want to be a clown in a circus.”

Perhaps unintended, or perhaps calculated, is the message about conformity and sameness. Written in Israel of 1993, many critics and teachers today still interpret this as a story of self-acceptance. I argue that although it may have been the intention, the story can also be read as the exact opposite. The little elephant does not feel right in his body – which is considered a ‘normal’ body (one that conforms to social expectations). There is nothing to indicate the elephant feels he doesn’t conform enough or having a desire to resemble someone else. Instead, he wants to be more colourful like “the world”. This to me, reads that he inherently feels colours would be natural for him, and having a desire to be more colourful, more out-there, different and defy cultural expectations. The inferred expectations could be based on the protagonist’s gender, race, class, disability or others. Once bravely acquiring the colours of the world, he says “Look how beautiful I am, a colourful little elephant!” It seems that indeed, he has found himself and tapped into his internal beauty and found a way to express his true personality.

Anyone in our society’s who has felt judged for how they dress or look – I’m sure can read this as a celebration of self-expression, self-acceptance and even pride. Especially those of us who may feel at odds with society’s expectation of our bodies. As a disable person, society has often told me to blend in, and as a female we are so often told to present a particular way – like every other ‘good’ woman should. The condemnation by the elephant’s peers is a small example of how oppressive systems work in our society – the way our ableist, sexist and racist systems work to keep all of us in line within our expectations – mocking a vulnerable individual to keep them obeying social rules. The little elephant is left with little choice but wash away his colours, and he then “calms down”, looking downwards in defeat.

If this was a story of self acceptance, you’d expect the little protagonist to feel at ease or peace with his body, or who he is. Instead, when the others wash his colours away, he simply feels relieved for the mocking has stopped. Very little space was given to the protagonist’s feelings or thoughts about the re-transformation, and his face wears an expression of defeat or relief. Little Elephant didn’t come to self acceptance or celebration, rather, he has just felt obliged to conform with the social expectations to stop the mocking and bullying. He did not have any ally on his side to support his rightful self-expression. After returning to grey, he feels relieved that the criticism stopped, but he isn’t elated, nothing like what he felt when coloured up. He was pushed into place by bigger forces – all but him are happy at the end.

There is no doubt children’s literature plays a huge role in children’s understanding and views of the world. Any protagonist is written to be identified with, at least to a degree. And any child (and adult) identifying with our little elephant, would eventually realise how little choice they had, and that self-acceptance front wrapper is filled with strict rules for individuals’ behaviour within society.

Many of us feel we have to hide who we are, or parts of ourselves – because of messages like these. Normalising bullying, advocating for conformity and strict roles and appearances – do so much damage to the mental health and wellbeing of anyone who doesn’t fit into the boxes built by societies. Many people face ableism, transphobia, fat-phobia, racism and sexism on a daily basis – and this example feeds into those harmful ideas.

When reading this book with my child from now on, I will either change the ending for my child -maybe get rid of the mocking and say the elephant retuned to his flock to find acceptance and celebration of who he was. Or I will add an explanation that it is not ok to laugh at how people present. That we should all celebrate who we are, and feel safe to express ourselves freely (as long as we don’t harm others), remembering that who we are is beautiful and strong. As always, I will tell my child – if you want to dress or behave differently from what others think you should – go for it. And if anyone mocks you, I will come get them.

Until next time,

Liel K. Bridgford