Concluding a Decade

It was almost impossible not to write a concluding reflection about the last year, actually, about the last decade.

I’ll start from the beginning. In 2010 I was serving in the Israeli Air Force as a First Lieutenant at Flight school. I built, from scratch, a role of managing three operation rooms and seven unique soldiers. I was responsible for their personal and professional well-being, all of whom were no younger than me than by two years. It was one of the most challenging and rewarding experience I’ve ever had. During that year, I’ve finished my service and went travelling around Thailand and Laos. I’ve learnt to connect with others using other things but words, and appreciate my privilege in the hierarchy of the plant.

Me passing the baton. Image description: a person in khaki uniform, holding a purple tinsel, she is looking away from the camera.

In 2011 I was studying: history, Bible studies and literature, to improve my already-high high-school grades with the aim of landing a medical school spot. When finishing those exams (with excellent marks I must admit), I decided to go travelling again. Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand. During that trip I decided to ditch the childhood dream of medicine (thank goodness). I also met a nice Australian guy.

Meeting an Australian guy. image description: two people on a hammock: a man is smiling with eyes almost closed, wearing a yellow singlet: a woman is smiling, looking at him, wearing a white singlet.

2012 was the year I moved to Australia to be with the Australian guy (ok, Mike) and study psychology. I’ve adjusted to living in the unpredictable and cold Melbourne weather, and the unfamiliar Australian culture. I’ve continued studying and getting to know Melbourne and Australia, volunteering in the community, and making life-long friends along the way.

Learning about Christmas. Image description: a woman standing with one hand on her head. she is wearing a red long-sleeve top and red reindeer antlers.

In 2014, after finishing my psychology degree, Mike and I went back to live in Israel. I worked two mental health jobs (simultaneously).

Tel-Avivian life. A meal on the balcony was one of my favorite rituals. Image description: brown wooden table on balcony, a street visible in the background. On the table is a salad; two plates with sandwiches; a water bottle; glass cups.

In 2015, I got engaged (to Mike). Four days later my last living grandparent passed away. The year finished with a pre-wedding honeymoon in Europe and Japan. That was one of the best trips I’ve ever had.

A moment in Japan. I am walking with a walking stick because I’m barely walking after exhausting my leg. There is always a price to pretending and pushing yourself too much. Image description: a woman is standing with a walking stick, holding an umbrella, camera hung on her neck. She is standing next to a pond, with trees in the background.

In February of 2016 I got married to Mike (the Australian guy). Then I started a Psychology Honours degree. While doing that, I started working as a mental health counsellor, a job which I am still doing. I graduated from my Psychology Honours degree.

A bride. Image description: a woman in a white wedding dress. She wears a white flower crown and is smiling.

2017 was a tough one. I had to prepare for a testimony in a court case about my disability. It was something I never wanted to do, and never thought I’d have to do. I spent months with a therapist preparing for it. I tried to explain to my colleagues it wasn’t a holiday (even though I used all my leave to go). Testifying indeed was extremely triggering. The weeks I spent around family and friends, who didn’t know anything about it, was also challenging. No one knew about the court case. Hiding it, pretending I wasn’t going through re-traumatisation, was exhausting. Thankfully, the year ended on a positive note, as Mike and I moved homes and got Chilli the puppy (on the same day!).

Bringing Chilli home. Image description: woman holding a cocker spaniel puppy, who is licking her face. She is smiling.

In June 2018 I gave birth to my son. I then spent almost a year at home full-time with him. That was one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. Yes, it was harder than my military service. The intensity and size of my emotions, as well as the natural tendency to reflect on one’s experiences after a baby’s arrival, brought me back to writing.

With my precious one, at our six-week check up. Image description: woman sitting on green chair, holding a small baby. She is smiling. The baby is looking away from the camera.

In 2019 I’ve been writing, more and more. I’ve also been performing- reading out my poems to other people has been more rewarding and exhilarating than I expected. Connecting with other readers and writers, in person and online, has been brilliant. Importantly, this process of writing, reading, reflecting, and connecting, has brought me to where I am today. I am much more self-aware about my internalised ableism, as well as about the societal impact I’ve experienced throughout my life to create that. I am tackling both the external and internalised ableist attitudes now by challenging it daily. Sometimes multiple times a day.

Performing my poem A Visit. Image description: a woman standing in front of red microphone. she is wearing glasses, light blue shirt and black scarf.

Today I’m determined to continue writing and connecting with people, educating others about ableism and promote inclusiveness.

So what can I expect from the next year, or decade? It is hard to tell. I hope to be looking back and be amazed about the progress made by our society. I hope to be just as likely to pick up a book by a disabled woman than by a white cis man. I hope to be just as likely to see a disabled protagonist on TV and the movies, as an able-bodied white male.

Why? Because it is time. It is time all of us marginalised and silenced people have a voice. It is time young, disabled, transgender, immigrant, Aboriginal girls feel included, like they have a place. It is time for them to know they can succeed and thrive, just by being themselves.

Until next time,

L. K. Bridgford

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